As part of #AUTISM Awareness Month, I am featuring bloggers, experts, parents and people with ASD here on Acting Balanced, and today I'm pleased to invite author Lynnette Louise to take the spotlight. Later this month I will be reviewing her book MIRACLES ARE MADE: A Real-Life Guide to Autism and offering you a chance to win it!
The Never-Ending Job, Thank God!
There is a term in psychology called ‘reframing’. It is just insider lingo for ‘see it differently’. Of course people do that all the time and always did - even before the phrase was coined - but now ‘the reframe’ has the advantage of sounding observable by scientists.
I raised eight children, six of whom were adopted, four of whom were on the autism spectrum (only one still is). I know a lot about ‘seeing it differently’.
For example one day several years ago I was feeling overwhelmed. It seemed that all I ever did was look for money to pay bills with, explain logic to logic challenged children, and find ‘Dear Jane’ notes taped to the frdge. One particular Dear Jane note day I pulled the note down, picked up the mail (AKA overdue bills) and went to the post office where I worked as a letter carrier. I then read another note called ‘the pink slip’. As I drove home I saw my four-year-old autistic son. I assumed he had given the baby sitter the slip because he ran past my car naked and doing car sound effects… thank God I’d been fired in time to catch him. He saw me, made a quick u-turn and dove into our open basement window.
I put my head down on the steering wheel to cry. Cash (another autistic son) stood staring at the car. I opened the door as my armload of bills and rejection slips fell to the ground. Looked at my son and spoke through him to myself (because I knew he wouldn’t likely care). “I’m crying because it seems like my job is never done and there are always bills to pay.”
Surprisingly he responded to me, in appropriate words, instead of his usual litany composed of unintelligible car makes and models.
“Isn’t that what grownups do? Work and pay bills?” I looked at my son and thought ‘Out of the mouth of autistic babes!’
After several seconds of shocked silence I mumbled, “Yes son that is exactly what grownups do. Thanks!” I took his hand and headed in the house. As we slowly walked (for that is his style) I thought about my children and took a deep breath of gratitude.
I knew then, as I know now, I am lucky to be a mom. My children are my gifts. (Besides parenting is the one job I will never be fired from or divorced out of.) Luckily my life has been riddled with moments like this. Thus, epiphany upon epiphany I have survived knowing that it is up to me, to see, whatever it is I happen to see: An albatross around my neck or the joy of job security.
Article written by Lynette Louise author of Miracles Are Made: The Real Life Guide To Autism.
LYNETTE LOUISE: MS, NTC, BCIA-EEG Board Certified in Neurofeedback; PhD in MOM
Lynette raised eight children, (six adopted, five disabled, four on the autism spectrum). Only one retains his label and remains dependent. Born in Canada, Lynette moved to America in 1995. An expert in Autism, and on how to incorporate neurofeedback (biofeedback for the brain) as the main therapy approach for the autistic child, Lynette travels internationally performing and speaking on the subject, helping children and their families, and teaching professionals. She is the author of two books. Her latest and most renowned being MIRACLES ARE MADE: A Real Life Guide To Autism.
Lynette is also on facebook, twitter, myspace and linkdn.